


When You See Me

by FinifugalRedamancy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bascially a really sad story of not being able to let go okay, Character Death, M/M, Mystery, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-01-15 04:36:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1291570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FinifugalRedamancy/pseuds/FinifugalRedamancy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Levi's eye is injured in a battle against an aberrant titan and Eren is unexpectedly killed, Rivallie blacks out, only to wake and find that the Special Operations Squad is acting strange and he can't remember a thing. All he knows is that despite the squad's questioning, he can see perfectly out of his "injured" eye and that Eren Jaeger, is still there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When He's Gone

            It was freezing that night. The type of freezing that made every cell of your body shake and shivers ran up and down your spine like ants. Levi stood with his team, his usual stoic expression remained unchanged, despite the weather and his breath came out in puffs of warm vapor, then disappearing into the impending, black sky.

            “Heichou…” Petra whispered, her voice quivering slightly in impending fear, ”Should we move in?” She approached him from behind, concern and terror equally noticeable in her hazel colored eyes.

            Levi didn't do so much as glance at her, his eyes dead set on the huge shadows moving across the field clumsily. He let out a deep sigh and gripped his horse’s reigns tighter.

            “With caution,” he responding in his routine, uninterested tone and then with a flick of his feet, he commanded the horse to move foreword. The team jumped to follow him out into the field. The night sky tumbled out before him and stars splattered the sky. The scene was so beautiful, it almost took the squad’s mind off of the pressing hand at matter. If it wasn’t for the huge, looming titans running through the tall grasses with ease, they would have forgotten where they were and lost themselves in the beautiful night.

            Levi glanced slightly to his right, spotting him easily. His dark brown hair was whisked back from him forehead with the biting wind, his green eyes almost illuminating the darkness.

            _“Jeager”_ Levi thought to himself, almost in a fond tone. His heartbeat raced and he quickly glanced away, managing to maintain his disinterested face. He paced his horse, leading the group in the far front.  The wail of a titan erupted through the quiet night, shattering the peaceful quiet. Levi grimaced and gripped the reigns tightly.

            “Petra, Hanji, take the north. Oluo and Eld head for the west, and Gunter, I trust you can handle the east on your own for now,” Levi commanded quickly. He turned to Eren.

            “Jeager, you’re coming with me,” he said and the group dispersed. Levi turned his horse around quickly, Eren matching his movements nervously. Levi charged forward, seeing an approaching titan and dismounted the horse and in mid air shot the grapple hook over to the titan, swinging around the giant. Eren followed his lead, except around the creature’s legs, entangling him with the grapple chord. The titan cried out and fell, almost in slow motion to the ground with a deafening thud. Levi quickly sprinted up its bony back to the vulnerable spot on the back of its neck and sank the blade into the thick skin. With one more earsplitting growl, the titan fell dead. Levi pulled the sword out with a sickening slurping noise and continued on.

            “Keep up Jaeger!” he shouted as a 15 meter titan approached quickly. Eren sped up just as the creature brought down its fist to the earth, throwing the two men off their feet. Eren tumbled on his side, grunting and grabbing his waist, immediately getting up to stand again. The titan swept down and grabbed Eren, Levi’s eyes widening. Everything was muted out, his own heartbeat pounding like symbols in his ears. He shot forward and spun, slicing the titans hand open and reached in, taking hold of the younger boy and yanking him out of the titans grasp. He jumped to the ground, landing roughly and rolling to the side. When the world stopped spinning, Eren opened his eyes to see Levi hovering above him.

            “Damn you shitty brat, don’t scare me like that,” he shouted at him, and much to Eren’s surprise, he was shaking violently. Eren gulped in fear,”S-sor…” he could finish as Levi got to his feet quickly and shot up the side to slay the titan. Hatred burned in his eyes. _How dare this creature put his filthy hands on Eren._ His subconscious took over and Levi hardly knew what he was thinking as he slammed his blades down into the target point. Levi pulled them out only to slam them back in, the titan already crying in pain and falling to the ground, Levi coming down with him.

             Eren watched in fear, eyes widening at the rage of his commander. Levi wouldn’t stop and Eren ran over, crying his name.

            “Levi Heichou, please stop!” he shouted, reaching him, ”Levi it’s dead!”

But Levi wouldn’t let up, in some sort of an angry trance. Eren looked up to see a titan approaching quickly. ‘ _It’s an aberrant_!’ He thought in a panic, standing up and running towards the creature, swords ready. He unleashed the grappling hook, the clasp gleaming in the moonlight as it stuck into the nauseating, yellow tinted skin of the titan. Eren pulled himself forward and sliced toward its neck. However, it threw its head to the side, almost knocking Eren to ground.

            Levi snapped out of it, looking down at his bloody and steaming hands and cursing himself for allowing himself to be distracted. He glanced around, and his heart stopped for a moment, watching Eren fight the huge titan. _‘That dumbass!’_ He thought angrily and started to run over “JAEGER WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” he shouted, knowing that Eren wasn’t strong enough to face the aberrant alone.

            He fell.

            With one swipe of the titan’s hand, Eren was knocked out of the way and toward the trees, landing with a slam onto the compact dirt. Levi’s face flashed with rage and he ran to the titan, swinging to the top and taking a jab to its face. The titan fought back, taking a swing to Levi. The skilled fighter dodged the attack and pressed on to take another hit at the giant. The aberrant reached out its hand quickly and hit Levi in the face, the man gasping in pain. He gripped his right eye and repositioning himself to face the back of the aberrant. He finally managed to slice at the titans neck and jumped off as it fell. He turned toward the trees and ran, struggling to find air to breathe and clutching his right eye.

            “Eren!” he called, not noticing that his voice was shaking, he struggled to maintain his calm composure. His eyes caught on the metallic shine of the maneuver gear and he rushed over. As he ran over he yelled, “Get up Eren, Petra needs backu-“ he stopped talking at the sight before him.

            Eren’s face was pinched in pain, paled from loss of breath. His pink lips were parted, gasping for air and clutching his chest. Through the right side of his torso was what looked like a tree branch, and it was now caked with Eren’s bright red blood.

            Levi sank to the boys side, not saying a word, looking at him with internal shock. Eren wheezed for air and reached out slightly.

            “H-heichou…” he began but Levi simply pulled the taller boy into his grasp, holding his head against his chest.

            “Don’t talk Eren” Levi said as his head ran out of words and it filled with random letters, unable to form into sentences that could explain the agony he was feeling.

            “Heichou…I’m sorry…” he said, trailing off to cough up blood into Levi’s shirt. Levi gritted his teeth at the sound of his voice.

            “God damn it brat I told you not to speak,” he said as the world started to spin, his head swimming with unthinkable emotions.  

            Eren’s eyes grew foggier, ”Levi…Heichou…I’m so sorry,” he said again and Levi did all but slap him. He gritted his teeth.

            “Eren, shut up!” he shouted into his cooling skin, ”Shut up and start breathing again, get up and keep living,” he commanded. Tears started to trickle out of Eren’s eyes and he gazed up at Levi’s blurry figure, barely managing to make out his bold features and his soulful eyes. Eren reached up to touch his cheek with the last bit of strength he had left.

            “Eren, listen to me,” Levi said severely, ”You are going to stand up and walk out of this forest, you will live.” He was in denial, but he knew the truth, the truth of Eren’s fate. Eren gave a small hint of a smile.

            “Thank you…for everything…for everything you've taught me...” he choked out. Levi stared down at him, pain showing through his normally passive expression. Levi stared into Eren’s eyes, watching the life slowly slip out of them. Eren’s had slipped down and his eyes fluttered to a close, only to have the older man grip his hand tightly.

            “Eren…don’t leave me you brat…” he said breathily, shaking with fear and anger He held him tightly, letting out a small anguished choke and huddling the boy’s body. Levi stayed quiet for a moment, pulling himself together then getting to his feet. He slowly looked down and saw that Eren’s chest struggled to rise and fall slowly and took off his jacket, covering the boy. Levi stood up, looking down at the boy he had grown so fond of for the past year. With his hands and clothes, stained with Eren’s fresh blood, he let out the grapple hook and went to get help, leaving behind the only person he had ever loved. Halfway there he collapsed, everything suddenly falling to a world of darkness.


	2. When They Don't Understand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren get's kicked in the ass. <3
> 
> Oh, and I changed POVs, I feel like speaking as Levi would be easier :)

“Rivallie…wake up Heichou.”

            I heard voices, barely. It sounded like they were underwater. I attempted to open my right eye but a searing pain surged through my head. I squinted into the warm light and my eyes adjusted on Petra and Hanji hovering above me, faces twisted in concern and worry. Their eyes flooded in relief when I showed a response, ”How are you feeling Heichou?”

            I answered them with a grunt and looked around, ”Where am I? I mumbled, attempting to prop myself up on the soft pillows. Petra put her dainty hand on my chest, receiving an annoyed grumble from me.

            “The fortress. We carried you back after…” she trailed off, eyes looking off somewhere else.

            “After what?” I asked, not having a clue what was going on. I furrowed my brow and squinted my eyes. Petra looked ready to cry when I shouted, “And what are you looking at Jaeger?” That dopey boy was staring at me from behind Petra, at the foot of my bed. The women froze and turned their heads quickly, eyes wide. Hanji’s eyes lit up, “Interesting…” she mumbled under her breath, “She was talking about when your right eye was damaged by an aberrant.” She said. I furrowed my brow and sighed heavily.

            “But I can see perfectly fine,” I announced exasperated, glancing to my right to see Petra. She had the strangest, startled expression on her face and when I caught her eyes she just nodded meekly. Eren gave his goofy smile, “Sorry Heichou…It’s my fault your eye-“

            That child, didn’t I tell him to stop apologizing already? As he spoke, his grin faded to an ashamed grimace. I cut him off quickly.

            “Shitty brat, get over it. What did I tell you? It wasn’t your fault, dammit,” I commented quickly, choosing to ignore the extremely puzzled reaction I was receiving from Hanji and Petra at this point. Jesus Christ, I didn’t have time for this. I propped myself up as Petra bowed briefly, “I’ll be right back,” she said quietly, slipping out of my room, Eren following her. The door clicked to a close and Hanji took one of my hands in two of hers, eyes glowing.

            “So you can see out of your right eye, Levi?” she said excitedly and I gave a nod, glancing at her hands clasped around mine, un-amused.

            “Quite clearly actually, yes,” I said, covering my left eye to test my right eye’s vision. Everything looked perfectly normal. I slowly lifted my hand away. Hanji shot me one of her trademark, interested grins.

            “What does Eren look like,” Hanji asked. I frowned, what a stupid question. I was growing more pissed by the minute.

            “Dear God Hanji, he looks just like he looks every fucking day,” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. _And for some odd reason, I find it attractive…_ I thought, the image of the boy in my mind.

            He eyes glowed brightly again, ”Fascinating.”

            What was fascinating? I was spiraling into confusion, and fast. I parted my lips to ask her something when the door opened and the rest of the team trooped in, along with Eren and Petra. The all stopped in the doorframe.

            “Oi, what are you looking at?” I asked, glancing at them,” You all are acting ridiculous, what’s going on?” I glanced over their face and my eyes couldn’t help but pause at Eren. He was standing slightly away from everyone else.

            Oluo cleared his throat ,”Nothing commander, just being respectful. I assume you are doing better than last night?” he asked calmly. I sighed and looked at them all.

            “I believe I have amnesia. What were we doing last night, I need a step by step playback,” I told them. They all shot each other a glance and Eld began to speak.

            “We were on a mission. There was a fleet of titans roughly 3 miles south of here. To protect the fortress, we decided to go and battle and you split us into group. You and…Jaeger…” he said, slightly pausing  at mention of the kid’s name, “were together. An aberrant came and swiped at your eye an-“

            “That’s enough Eld,” Hanji said, all smiles ”I think we’ve updated him on all he needs to know.” The others fell silent and I nodded.

            “Well, in that case, everyone get to work.. Since I am apparently bedridden. This fortress isn’t going to clean itself, ”I snapped. The others scurried around and I laid back down on the bed, closing my eyes and falling asleep.

 

 

            When I woke up it was dark outside and I sat up slowly, realizing I was still in my uniform. I grunted in disgust, hating the look of the crumpled and creased shirt. I did my best to clean up and walked downstairs, following the prevalent noise of chatter.

            “I have no idea what’s going on. Should we talk to Erwin about this?”

            “Not yet, maybe it will wear off in a while,”

            “But he sees-“

            “That will most likely wear off with the amnesia.”

            “Just play along,”

            I walked inside with my arms crossed, leaning against the door frame. The room quieted and they all looked up.

            “Good evening Levi-Heichou,” Hanji said, glancing up from the table with her signature simper. I gave a nod in her direction.

            “Anyone care to tell me why we would call Erwin into this situation?” I called out to everyone. They looked at each other.

            “You could say we are…concerned about the severity of your amnesia. Nothing more than that, just worried,” Oluo said to us, putting a hand on Eld’s shoulder. Gunther watched them from across the table and looked up at Levi, the dark haired man giving a grunt in agreement and Petra stood up and walked over.

            “Nothing to worry about Rivaille. Have a seat, we were just about to eat,” she said happily, but her eyes showed fear. I looked at her for a moment before unfolding my arms and walking over and pulling out a chair.

            Conversation resumed, and it returned to a normal evening. We discussed our next movement and further ways to get around the hoards of titans lying outside and inside the breached stone of Wall Maria.

            “We need to restock our supply of gas for the maneuver gear, however I was told that fort closest to us has also been run to the ground and predicted to be out of stock tomorrow. I say our best bet is to reach the very edge inside Wall Maria. There are a few crates of extra supplies in a building there.” Eld explained carefully. Everyone listened silently, deep in thought.

            “That would take us days though, maybe even a week,” Petra pointed out, our group isn’t very big and it we could potentially be obliterated.” I sensed the fear in her voice and sighed deeply as the entire group started to talk loudly at once.

            “Enough.” I raised my voice and the group quieted, all looking over at me. I stood up slowly and started circling the group, “We need the extra aid of the new Scouting Legion recruits.” I looked around at their faces, “The graduates of 104 Trainee Squad, Eren’s team.” I said nodding in his direction. The group shifted uncomfortably at the mention of his name again and I rolled my eyes. What was wrong with these idiots? I continued,” It may take them a few days to return from their current mission but as soon as they return, we can prepare then leave quickly.” I turned to face the brunette with glasses.

            “Hanji. Would you be able to contact the recruits?” I asked, pointed slightly at her and she stood up with a nod.

            “Will do Heichou!” she said, running quickly out of the room. Everyone’s eyes followed the energetic female out of the room and I pointed at Eren.

            “Jaeger, you’re going to aid the trainees in preparing for battle,” I said, looking at him straight in the eyes. Petra stood up quickly.

“U-uh I’ll help him,” she said uncomfortably. I shot her a look then nodded slightly.

            “Very well, that works too…” I continued to give them all orders then everyone left the room after a while. With nothing left to do, I retreated to my quarters calmly, questions floating around my head. What did Eren do to make everyone act so nervously? Did the little brat turn into a titan while I was out? That was it. I clenched my fist and took of my jacket, laying it aside on the dresser and climbing into the bed, staring out the window in thought.

            _I’ll kill him._ I laid down and closed my eyes. _I’ll kill the titan brat._

            However I couldn’t put my finger on the reason why my heart was beating so fast and my palms started to get clammy and damp. _I’m acting weak. Pull yourself together Rivallie. N'agissez pas comme un enfant (Don’t act like a child)._ It took a few hours but I finally drifted to a sleep of blank dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay omg so this was my favorite chapter to write OTL


	3. When They Come Marching In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Trainee's discover what has happened to Eren and join the Special Ops.

The following morning I awoke before dawn, washing myself up and ironing and pressing my shirt and pants. I got dressed and pulled on my boots, heading downstairs to find Eld and Oluo already eating. They glanced up with a brief salute, "Good morning Heichou," Oluo said, "Hanji should arrive in a few hours with the recruits." I nodded and took a seat.

After about a half an hour, the rest of the team had showed up, minus Eren.

"Where is Eren," I questioned, crossing my legs and arms, leaning slightly back against the wooden chair back.

"Still sleeping," Petra commented quickly, "I heard him snoring this morning as I walked downstairs," After a moment I uncrossed my legs and stood up.

"That child," I said with a sigh, I'll go wake him," I grunted, walking up the stairs. I crossed the hall and pounded on Eren's door.

"Jaeger, get your ass out of bed." I said, opening the door to see a well made bed and cleaned room, pajamas folded nicely on the dresser. I glanced around the room to find him staring out the window, "What are you doing, sleeping in?" I demanded and he gave an awkward stumble.

"A-ah! Heichou, g-gomen!" he scurried to pull on his second boot and scurried to salute, "It's true, I slept in."

I gave him a quick kick to the ass, "Get downstairs, brat." I said and he nodded, running. I watched him go and as he disappeared down the stairs I gave a faint smirk. _I hope that left a mark._

~ XXX ~

Hanji and the others got to base at around noontime and they all saluted at attention. As I explained the operation, my eyes caught on some of Eren's friends.

One girl with brown hair tied back, Sasha I believe her name was, had puffy eyes and as did the small, blonde girl, Krista.

_ Who had died to make them so distraught? Jesus Christ. _

Even the powerful Mikasa Ackerman looked a bit… off. Her messy hair and dark bags under her eyes marred her usual crisp appearance and she looked unstable at best. The usual red scarf she wore was high above her nose and mouth and nearly covered her eyes. I ignored it, for now, and continued to explain their operation. I immediately noticed that everyone was distracted... very distracted.

"The operation is simple. We will split you all into groups, with one of my squad members as your leader." I paced back and forth across the leveled, stage like platform, "You will follow this leader to Wall Maria, and you will obey their every word. No excuses. You must be willing to slay the titans on the way there. Stay on your toes, be alert, and be willing to die,"

I stopped and glanced out at the group of young people, "I will now list the groups." I said, looking down at the sheet, listing off the names and dismissed them to prepare for the journey.

** (Flashback) **

Sasha's POV:

Hanji came to us the night before by horseback. At first, we thought she was just bringing us an update of some sort but the evening turned out to be very different…

"I..is that Hanji?"I heard Armin say from the corner of the dining hall. Our heads turned to peer out the faintly frosted, glass windows. Just as the small, blonde boy had reported, she was riding in on a deep, chestnut colored horse, glasses poised at the tip of her nose and emerald cape flying behind her in the wind. Connie stood up and headed for the door, the rest of us following curiously. We rarely ever got word from the Special Operations Squad so the team was bubbling with questions.

Hanji dismounted the horse and walked over, bowing her head slightly, after a few second speaking, "I have two messages. One was demanded to me by Levi, and the other I bring to you on behalf of the others in the Special Operations Squad and myself."

We glanced at each other, our hearts dropping at the tone of the usually cheerful brunette's tone. Hanji continued, "As you can guess, neither of these two messages are particularly good news…" she said, her voice remaining low, "But I will start with the better of the two," she looked back up at us, seeming to meet each and everyone one of our eyes, "It has come to our attention that your supply for the maneuver gear as well as ours have run dangerously low. Normally, we would just make the hike to Fort Nakanishi, around 8 miles from here, however a messenger came to us 4 days ago bringing us word that even their stock is nearly gone."

The team looked at each other, I locked eyes with Connie for a moment, sharing a look of angst and worry. We quickly turned back to Hanji as she began to speak again.

"Levi Heichou," she started, the room seeming to fall silent at the mention of his name, "has asked that you help us in this expedition. I don't quite know the details but he requested that I take you all back with me."

The group nodded in understanding, the vapor from our breaths like small clouds of anxiety forming over our heads. Hanji then paused to look at each one of us individually and then looked at the group.

"Eren Jaeger is dead."

My heart stopped. Dead? That can't be possible Eren could never die, he was Eren.

The team was frozen in shock and denial, the tension so thick you could _feel_ it hanging in the air. Christa shook her head slowly, "T-that can't be true…" she began, blue eyes filling with tears. Ymir quickly took the petite girl into her embrace, however the fierce, badass female was visibly shaking. I dared to look at Mikasa, her eyes wide and her hand clutched over her heart. She dropped to her knees, starting to scream. Jean and Connie running over to help her up but she just crumpled herself like a paper ball, face masked in pain and horror.

I squeezed my eyes closed and covered my ears, ducking my head, "This isn't suppose to happen!" I cry out, "He's not suppose to leave, why did he have to leave do this to us!?"

Armin was shaking to my left, his blue eyes haunted with the terrible thoughts of what possibly could have happened to him best friend, reeling through his mind endlessly, "But…we never…he didn't…I couldn't…" He couldn't finish his sentences, tears slipping down his cheeks. His thoughts were incomplete, a little piece of him having been torn out by the cruel, bony hands of death.

Hanji lowered her head, trying to keep her wall of composure from crumbling down, "When you can, please prepare your things. I am deeply sorry for the loss of your friend," she said gently, attempting to shoot us a sympathetic smile but it came out as just a grimace, her emotions showing straight through her usual warm brown eyes. She turned back to her horse and went to feed it and give it some water for the journey back home.

Minutes blurred into hours and the hours felt like eternity as the team attempted to pull themselves together. We eventually were able to stabilize poor little Armin, but he was still shaking, bright blue eyes dampened with tears and pain.

Mikasa was hysterical.

It took us about a half an hour to get her to stop screaming, then another thirty minutes slowing her tears. I think it scared us all to see our fearless leader break into hysteria. If someone else were in her spot, Mikasa would be straight on it, bringing the person back to earth in minutes, but that was sadly not an option. Half of us left to gather our things, Jean and Connie helping Armin to their room. I stayed with Mikasa until long after the others were gone, staying by her side. She suddenly turned her face up slightly, barely allowing me to look into her steel colored eyes.

"It should have been me, Sasha."

With that, the warrior stood up and left me on the steps of the dining hall, mouth hanging open to respond but no words escaped. I left after a few minutes and gathered my things silently, the entire camp bathed in disbelief and melancholy.

Late that evening we strapped our things to the horses and mounted, ready to head back to where the Special Operations Squad were lying in bed, their eyes wide open and heads throbbing. No one got sleep that night. As we were ready to set off, Hanji turned to face us, the air dripping with dread.

"Rivaille doesn't remember a thing. He claims to see Eren," she said, the group falling silent, everyone had stopped breathing, "and we intend to play along with it, for the sake of his sanity, and our own."

~ XXX ~

** (End of flashback) **

Levi's POV:

Once the few dozen of us were mounted onto the horses, I fastened my straps tightly, my lips forming a straight line of un-emotion. I could see Eren at the corner of my eye, my chest filling with pride for a brief second. I shook it off.

"He's just a kid to me," I insisted, shooing the feeling away from me, "Nothing more."

I faced the pale sunrise, my eyes glowing with its meek embrace. It symbolized the starting of a new day, the slate was cleaned and ready for the day to unfold. My heart surged with my usual adrenaline pump I always get when we prepare for a certain mission. I kick the sides of my horse slightly to give it a start when pain surges through my right eye, leading me to grimace in discomfort as we rode off.

_ I had the strangest feeling that I was forgetting something. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried while writing this oh my god ;-;


	4. When We Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey begins and the travel is borning, until the group runs into some of their giant "friends"...

         The sun beat on our faces as the merciless wind pushed back our forest green capes. I lead the group, Petra slightly hanging back to my left. So far there had been no sight of those hideous beasts, much to the displeasure of the obnoxious Hanji. The crisp scent of the forest wafted in my nose and it coursed through my veins. I felt alive and strong, nearly invincible. It was moments like these where I gained confirmation that I was where I needed to be. The thick facade I had managed to create effectively masked any trace of uncertainty that riddled my thoughts. It would be foolish to allow any form of faltering confidence to soil my leadership, and I intended to maintain my indestructible stature, even if it meant building walls around my heart as strong as Sina.

 I glanced over my shoulder slightly to see the clumsy brunette boy I had taken under my wing. His face turned a shade of pink at the realization that he had come to my attention. Eren shifted uncomfortably and averted his piercing green eyes to the ground. With the hint of a smirk I turned back to face the front. “ _The idiot looks pretty cute for a twerp his age, ”_ I mused to myself. My mind began to wander, then quickly snapped back to reality by Oluo.

"Heichou, I can spot a few 7 meter class about a mile to the north west,” his voice was low, emitting in a growl like tone. My eyes narrowed, spotting the monsters, stumbling on their own two feet on the horizon. I bowed my head slightly, hunching over the chestnut horse below.

“I want Petra and Eld’s team to target the first one, Gunther and Olup take the second and my team will head up the last,” I shouted to the mass of soldiers following my lead. Wasting no time I nudged the horse bellow and pressed on towards the titans. The rhythmic beat of horse hooves intensified and as we grew closer to the barbaric creatures my grip on the reigns tightened slightly. The three had not spotted us yet, but it would only be a matter of time. As we approached the rear end of the 7-meter class, I brought my horse to a halt and released my maneuver gear chord. It latched into the broad shoulders of the titan, which lead to the creature to release a blood-curling wail of anguish and it began to slowly turn. My team, which consisted of Ackerman, Hoover, Jaeger, and Kirstein, followed obediently. Jean and Bertolt began to circle around the gigantic legs, entangling their grapple hooks and slowing the titan enough to allow Ackerman to gain a lead on the titan. She sank the blade into its back and made its way up to the neck. I jolted forward, my body flung towards the neck of the hideous beast. Then I performed my special technique, yanking the grapple out of its skin and spinning. With brute force and momentum, I made contact with the weak spot of the titan and it screeched, beginning to fall foreword.

         That’s when I saw him.

         Eren was underneath the tumbling titan; it’s shadow growing dark over his face. “EREN MOVE!” I shouted, quickly leaping towards the oblivious teen, my arms closing around him and we jetted out from under the titan in what seemed like slow motion. Finally, we landed with a breath-snatching thud on the compact dirt floor at the same time as the titan. I laid there holding the kid, my eyes closed in fear. Had we survived? I slowly came to my senses and saw that we had avoided such a untimely death. I shook a groggy Eren, gritting my teeth tightly in fury.

         “You fucking brat! Pay attention next time, you could have gotten yourself killed!” I spat at him, my iron grip on his arms turning my knuckles white. His eyes were wide and tears of terror collected in the corners, “I don’t have time for you to scare me like that, dammit!”

         “I’m so sorry Heichou,” he stuttered out, still in a haze of trauma. I looked up to see my team staring in horror and confusion. I growled in frustration.

         “What are you looking at? Go help the others, just don’t stand there like a bunch of dimwits.” My voice was a cold as steel and they immediately complied, splitting up to aid the other teams. I dropped the teen in my arms and stood up, looking down.

         “You owe me Jaeger,” I grumbled, yanking his ear then running off to finish off what we had all started.

~ XxX ~

         By noon we were back on track, the group reassembled quite quickly, cleaning up in the process. Thankfully, and to my surprise to be frank, we hadn’t lost anyone in the small skirmish. However, I was still quite winded after the incident with Eren. Was I really going to have to babysit this child? When would he learn to take care of himself and be a man? I couldn’t have him die on me, as it certainly wasn’t an option at this point. We needed the kid, and on top of that I don’t think I could stand seeing the little shit die, I know I wouldn’t fare well if something like that occurred. I rolled my eyes subconsciously. Where were all of these emotions coming from, I couldn’t allow myself to feel this way. It would ruin any hope of survival I had. These teenagers around me are just setting themselves up for failure. I can see them bonding over trivial things, such as love and friendship. Any trace of emotion will distract you from getting the important things done. I didn’t have time for such games.

         We rode on for hours, pressing forward and persevering the quick drop in temperature as the minutes ticked by. Petra pulled her cape close beside me and released an exhausted breath. I calculated the distance left and decided that it was fine to call it a night. Clouds pooled over our heads, obstructing the view of the moon, and leaving us in the dark. I halted my horse among some tall trees and turned to face the pack.

         “We may rest here for the night.” My message was simple and to the point and I jumped off the horse and grabbed onto the bags of supplies attached. I glanced around the misty forest, my breath appearing as small clouds under my nose. I could feel droplets of rain begin to sprinkle my cheeks and cape, leading me to take shelter under the arms of a great tree. I watched as everyone scurried to set up a makeshift camp before the storm rushed in, my eyes specifically taking an interest in Eren.

         His hair clung to the back of his neck from the rain and his features were pulled into a grimace as he lifted and moved things around. His eyes shone through the night and his lean stature cast a long shadow on the muddy terrain below his feet. I felt a pain in my heart suddenly. What was this feeling I was having? Whatever it was, it needed to stop. But why were emotions of anguish and desperation riddling my mind every time I saw this boy? I pushed everything aside and stood, heading over to aid Petra in starting the bonfire, and clearing my thoughts.

~ XxX ~

         Around 8 of us huddled around the flickering flames late that night. I glanced around at the solemn faces, their eyes dancing with the passionate fire. Sasha was huddled against Connie, their eyes emotionless and tired. Petra aimlessly threw twigs into the hungry, orange pit and Ackerman sat silently with Eren by her side. To my right, the looming Bertolt ate quietly with Krista and Ymir by his side, huddling together. The heat from the fire seemed to seer my skin and I stood up, heading over to my tent without speaking a word to anyone. As I laid in the dark shelter, I seemed to hear every droplet of water land on the surface of the forest. I hardly noticed when Eren slipped silently into the tent and into the covers of his sleeping bag. He fell silent and after a while I turned to my side, facing him.        

         His chest rose and fell slowly, in a lulling pattern like the rocking of a ship. I could see his long eyelashes, rimming his closed eyes and his warm, pink lips parted slightly. His hair was ruffled messily and it fell over his face slightly. I watched for a while, admiring him to myself. He looked healthy, and warm.

         He looked very much alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know this is moving kinda slowly and I really suck at writing battle scenes so I'm sorry omgg. Okay umgf *flies away* Sorry it's so short.


	5. Chapter 5: When We Argue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren doesn't understand tents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit I've been gone for a really really long time. I'm so sorry!  
> Cosplay, School, Summer, and life in general have pushed this fic so far on the back burner I lost it. I'll try super hard to not let this happen again.
> 
> I can't thank you all enough for your never ending support, not only on here but especially on FanFic. The kudos and private messages make my day and have pushed me to make this chapter happen, so keep them coming! 
> 
> Love you all and enjoy your tiny bit longer chapter. <3

Chapter 5: When We Argue

      

The night quickly left us, the morning birds singing loudly in the distance. I rolled over, opening one eye sleepily. The expectation to see Eren lying there was rudely swept away when I spotted an empty sleeping bag. It lay rustled and used but the brunette was not there. I jolted awake in panic and sat up, there was no way in hell that the punk woke up before me. I looked back down at the nest of blankets, my heart pounding with fear, but to my surprise, the boy was there, his hands gripping the sides of the sleeping bag and chest rising and falling at a steady pace. I shook my head slightly.

_What the fuck._

I reached over and shook his arm roughly,”Oi, wake up Jaeger,” I mutter, Eren stirring slightly and shifting in his sleep. His eyes opened hazily and glanced around the tent. Rolling my own eyes, I exited the flimsy tent and into the crisp air, morning mist clouding the air. I fed on mornings like this. I felt alive at the promise of a new day, new achievements, and new success. This was something nighttime could never give me. I rarely felt defeated when the sun rose again. I crossed camp and approached Aururo’s tent.

“Aururo, are you awake?” I said clearly, my response coming in the rustling of plastic and a curt grunt. He opened the entrance flap.

         “Good morning Heichou,” he said, exhaustion evident in his voice. I nodded, my eyes following the man as he exited the tent, a slight stumble in his step.

“As to you.”

He brushed himself off and saluted. I gave a sharp salute back then turned, tilting my head slightly, signaling him to follow suit. His footsteps quickened to match mine and we headed in the direction of the horses.

“I’m expecting to reach the base tonight. We’ll spend the night there and head back in the morning. If we’re quick enough, I doubt we’ll come in any contact with those disgusting beasts on the way home,” Levi said, his boots crunching in the dirt as he spoke, arriving next to the chestnut stallions. He aimlessly ran his hand down the muzzle and then looked up at his companion. Aururo merely nodded back and looked back out at the slowly lightening horizon. Levi did nothing as well, following his gaze out at the explosion of pastel pink and candied yellow on a hazy, stone blue canvas. A new day. A new promise.

~ XxX ~

Thirty minutes later the camp was bustling with exhausted soldiers, quickly packing up their sleeping areas, stamping out the smoldering fire and scrambling to tack up the horses. Eren was struggling to take apart our tent, so I walked over, my arms crossed over my chest.

“Jaeger…what the hell do you think you’re doing?” I asked, one eyebrow raised. Startled, Eren jumped, knocking over one of the teetering posts and collapsing in a pile of cloth and poles.

“H-heichou! You startled me!” he stammered, glancing up with wide eyes. I let out an audible sigh and nudged him aside with my foot.

“Get up, you’re doing this wrong.” Eren scrambled to his feet, brushing off his white pants and watching as I slowly took the stakes out of the ground first and then pulling out the poles. I quickly folded up the cloth and set everything in a neat pile, returning my arms to their crossed position. Eren gulped and saluted sharply.

“I apologize Corporal. I will try my harde-“ I held my hand up before he could finish, walking past him. As I reached his side, I paused and leaned over.

“Cut the formalities, Jaeger. It’s Levi.”

I continued on my way to check on the others progress, leaving behind the brunet with his jaw wide open and a blush covering his cheeks. Fucking adorable.

I was so screwed.

~ XxX ~

We had been traveling for around 5 hours and the sun beat down on our backs like a heavy blanket. I wiped the sweat off my brow and scanned the horizon for any sign of the base.

_Damn it. It feels like we’ve been moving for days._

The rest of the afternoon had been quiet, almost peaceful. After the camp had packed up we set course for the fortress again. The wind drifted gently, giving a slight tease of cool air and keeping us upright on our horses. To my surprise, and cautious concern, we hadn’t seen even a glimpse of a titan all day. It was…concerning to say the least. I felt as if we were teetering over the edge of a large cliff. If they weren’t _here_ they were somewhere close, like an impending earthquake. The tension seeped through the cracks, disturbing the gentle peace that settled over the pack.

Shrieks filled the quickly staling air. The horses whinny and jolt to an unexpected stop. I turned over my left shoulder to see what the commotion is, only to spot a figure huddled on the ground. I slowed my horse, Jinae, to a stop and hop off, making my way over to the figure. The others crowd around as I approached the injured soldier, bending down and gingerly turning them over.

Brown hair, dazed brown eyes. Sasha Braus.

         “Sasha are you alright?” Connie called out from beside her, kneeling down in the dirt and moving her sweaty bangs off of her forehead.

         She didn’t respond but reached out her hand. Connie stretched out his hand but I nudged it away.

“We need to keep her laying down. She’s fainted and needs to rest for an extended amount of time so we need a group to stay with her until we return from the base.”

“I’ll do it Corporal!” Connie said immediately, gently taking Sasha’s head and propping it on his lap. Christa was fanning her with her hands and glanced up at me.

“I will as well,” She commented, then making eye contact with tall, dark Ymir, still mounted on her horse, ”As well as Ymir.”

“Very well. Eren, you’ll be staying her as well.”

“But Levi! I-“

“No, you’re staying here to watch out for titans.”

“Levi! I can do more for the team on patrol with the rest of you. Please just give me a chance!”

“Eren!” I growled, snapping my head in his direction. The group was dead silent, eyes wide and staring in my direction. I scanned their frightened faces, once again being filled with a sense of concern. Something wasn’t quite right. I growled under my breath and stalked back over to Jinae, mounting her quickly, ”Do what you want.” I yanked her reigns and started forward, not even bothering to glance back at the group. I knew they would follow. Eren was the only exception.

He was always the exception.

~ XxX ~

 

We reached the base nearly 7 hours later, surprisingly towing along a brooding Eren. The dawn coated the sky in an explosion of colors, freckled with faint stars peeking from behind the blanket of day. We were greeted by other members of the Scouting Legion and welcomed in kindly. Supplied with warm blankets and small cups of soup, our team settled around the fireplace of the base. The splintered, wood floor grabbed at the cloth of my cape and scratched at my fingertips. Eren huddled in the corner of the room, staring intently into his murky soup, lost in its calm ripples as his body shivered. I stood up after a while and approached him, sitting down beside him without a word. He glanced up slightly, his eyes following my motions curiously. I reached over to list the cup of soup to my lips, taking a small sip and setting it down beside me.

“Do you understand why I wanted you to stay, Eren?”

There was a pause, I could feel him tense beside me at the sudden question. He  held his breath as it processed, finally shaking his head in a simple no.

“I-I do not sir…uh…Levi.”

I sighed quietly, leaning my head against the boarded walls of the shelter, closing my eyes in mock peace. There was a long pause. Minutes flew by before I stood up, my back to him. The firelight flickered over the sleeping features of the others. They almost looked peaceful.

I glanced over my shoulder at the huddled boy. He looked so young, so innocent and childlike. A stab of guilt flashed through my body, regretting the decision to put these kids in so young. They never deserved this. None of them ever did. But desperate times called for desperate measures and childhood will never last forever.

I scanned his eyes slowly then turned back around, walking back to my blankets.

“To protect you…dumbass,” I muttered before sweeping up the blanket into my arms and walking to the conjoined room silently. I closed the door with a resounding ring.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay oh my god this is my frist SNK fanfic and I really hope you guys enjoy it (although you might hate me for all the sad stuff). I originally posted this on FanFic and I will continue to but I figured that maybe I can post it here too? Okay, see yah by! <3


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